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Monday, February 20, 2012

When your friend is dating an a$$wipe

It's a difficult situation when one of your best friends is besotted with a man who appears make her unhappier than he makes her happy. A man who you had a bad feeling about the first time you met him, and who has in subsequent meetings failed to demonstrate that he's worthy of your best friend.

I'm watching my friend continuously fight with her boyfriend of several months. He seems to be immature, insensitive and self absorbed. He isn't violent, but can't seem to control his anger and acts like a real a$$wipe when angry, only to come crawling back later.

It's a difficult situation, because you're treading a fine line when you comment on a friend's love. I have learnt from experience that even if a couple have broken up, it's not worth badmouthing him because they could be back together tomorrow and then you're the bad person. As a friend, to some degree I have to accept her choice.

I think the best thing I can do is be there to listen and support her. Even though I have treaded carefully, she knows that I'm not keen on him. That I don't approve of his behaviour, or the way he treats her. 

Another part of me is worried that they won't break up, and that I won't be able to sigh with relief when he is finally out of her life.

Have you ever been in a situation where you're not keen on a close friend's lover? What did you do, and how did it end?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Lisa,
    I'm an occasional lurker on your blog, which is on my IE Favorites list, and I only go there occasionally. So I spend an hour or so catching up on months of posts!
    The issue with your friend is a hard one, I agree. You see it pop up in the Dear Dorothy Dix columns a lot. Well I haven't read those columns for years, but they used to talk about that problem! Can't remember what the outcomes were, but I guess you already know...keep your mouth zipped and be there to pick up the pieces. Love is blind all right; my friends were horrified when I married my first husband, as I was infatuated with him, despite his temper and selfishness. It was only after the third time he hit me that I decided I'd had enough, and moved on.
    Hopefully your friend will meet a nicer guy (perhaps you could do some subtle introductions?) who will make her realise there are better fish in the sea.
    Sorry to waffle on!!


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